Posts by Bona Dea

26

I was on the air today with Dr. Joy Browne

by Bona Dea in

jw
friends

i don't know if anyone here listens to dr. joy but i love her show and most of the time agree with her advice.

well, today i grew some balls and decided to call in and ask her what she thought i should do in my current situation (which is probably the closest i will come to seeking professional advice).

i never mentioned the name of the "religious group" in which my husband was involved, but i informed her about some of the things that they believe and how it was affecting my marriage and family.

Bona Dea

Thank you so much AlanF and Sabine for your emotional support

Sometimes it's best to get out before things get so bad you want to blow someone's brains out -- including your own. JWs have a way of doing that to people

I have already experienced that. There are days when I think the only way out of this is to simply end it all. I have seriously considered suicide but knowing that the only person my children have to raise them in the event of my death would be my husband, keeps me alive. It is so hard. It is not my husband who is withdrawing from the marriage. I have found myself over the past year being, well, IMO, verbally abusive and very withdrawn. I have gained an enormous and very unhealthy amount of weight and have completely lost any motivation to live whatsoever. I just take it day by day. There are some days when I just don't want to get out of bed in the morning. I am so mad at him. I would just as soon spit on him as to look at him sometimes. I can't help it. I think this man is willingly tearing our family apart for whatever reason and he is willing to put some stupid religion ahead of the welfare of his wife and children, and yes, that makes me mad as hell. He blames me for our problems, since I am the one who is unwilling to "compromise". Needless to say, I have a lot of anger issues to work out, which in all honesty go back to a time before the JWs even came into the picture. And in addition to that anger, I have a tremendous amount of guilt because of the way I have treated my husband; everhow provoked it may have been, no one deserves to be talked to the way I have talked to him.

I am in Georgia. Do you think that Mr. Magnani would be able to help me? I don't know how law/attorneys operate from state to state. If so, do you believe he would charge an outrageous amount of $. I am a stay-at-home mom, which makes my situation even more difficult. I have no job, no education, no money (that's not my husbands).

Sabine

Actually, it was one of your posts that terrified me the most. I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I cannot imagine how painful that would be. I am fully aware of how dangerous (and I don't hesitate to call them this) this cult can be. It is why I am so distraught. I want more than anything for my family to back to normal, but realistically, that is just not going to happen. I have got to do something for my kids. Thanks for you input!!

26

I was on the air today with Dr. Joy Browne

by Bona Dea in

jw
friends

i don't know if anyone here listens to dr. joy but i love her show and most of the time agree with her advice.

well, today i grew some balls and decided to call in and ask her what she thought i should do in my current situation (which is probably the closest i will come to seeking professional advice).

i never mentioned the name of the "religious group" in which my husband was involved, but i informed her about some of the things that they believe and how it was affecting my marriage and family.

Bona Dea

Paduan

I think its a mixture of the fact that they teach no hell, no trinity, no immortal soul, no tolerance of sin (and he has been slowly convinced that these things are biblically accurate-- and other churches are not teaching them) combined with the witnesses extensive ministry work. In all honesty, it has been my experience that you don't learn that much from just attending the average church and there is not much evangelism going on with the average church member. This also reinforces his belief that these people alone are God's chosen people. Also, we saw how hypocrisy and cliques prevail in most churches (however, he has not yet realized these same things abound in the KH). I don't get it either. He seems to have his mind made up though. Nothing I say seems to break through....

26

I was on the air today with Dr. Joy Browne

by Bona Dea in

jw
friends

i don't know if anyone here listens to dr. joy but i love her show and most of the time agree with her advice.

well, today i grew some balls and decided to call in and ask her what she thought i should do in my current situation (which is probably the closest i will come to seeking professional advice).

i never mentioned the name of the "religious group" in which my husband was involved, but i informed her about some of the things that they believe and how it was affecting my marriage and family.

Bona Dea

NewYork44M,

She's my favorite too. I've been listening to her, on and off, for about 4 years. I don't like Dr. Laura either. I have listened to her show once or twice...and I felt like she was too harsh and well, mean to her callers.

AlanF,

Thanks for the advice. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I really don't want to divorce but it is looking like the only realistic option I have here. I love my husband and our family, you know? I did separate from him about a month and a half ago. It had been my hope that it would be an eye-opener or something like that for him. Needless to say, it wasn't. In addition to that, my 4 year old began to regress and started peeing in her pants again (she's been potty trained for about 2 and a half years). I know this was her way of showing us that she could not emotionally handle the separation. I'm back and for the time being he has agreed to let us pretty much do whatever we want to do (but openly and sometimes not-so-nicely opposes it -- which only adds to the confusion that my son (the 6 year old) is already experiencing), he hasn't taken them back to the KH yet (we've only been back for about 2 and half weeks) but I am sure come Sunday morning he will try, and has backed off telling them bible stories as often and for such long periods of time (I get to read them first and decide whether I think it is told with a JW slant).

I know this is only temporary. As far as the childrens bible stories go, he was (prior to the separation) spending with them about 30-40 mins which consisted of a bible story, reading from the bible (the NWT, of course) and explanations for the verses he was citing, and he used a little brochure (looked sorta like a comic book), that I had never seen, which briefly went through the bible and quoted specific scriptures and explained basicallly why their conclusions as to what the bible meant were correct. That was just too much...especially for a 6 and 4 year old. I am afraid that eventually he will slowly try to weed things back in little by little, and it will be just a matter of time until it's back to the same ole-same ole.

I will look into Duane Magnani. I have spoken with a lawyer. I am aware that in the event of a divorce that I would most likely be considered the primary caretaker. My husband is 24 and I am 30; the lawyer informed me that this fact in and of itself would work against my husband. I really have no desire to rip my kids away from their father, but I am scared for them, and I don't know what else to do. I know that even if I do decide to divorce him, he will probably have them on weekends...weekends that he has already admitted would be spent fully indoctrinating my kids. This is so hopeless....

Edited by - Bona Dea on 18 October 2002 10:26:18

28

Man MAULED by LION During AWAKE Photo Shoot

by Funchback in

http://www.miami.com/mld/miami/news/local/4309638.htm

panama city zookeeper mauled by lion .

panama city, fla. - a 500-pound african lion mauled a zookeeper who had stepped into the animal's cage thursday to pose for a magazine photo.. george koll, 61, was attacked in the head and throat by the male lion.

Bona Dea

This is horrible. You guys are cracking me up so bad that I have tears running down my face. A man was attacked by a lion for goodness sake, and I'm cracking up. This is too much.

I hope he recovers and is able to come out of this ordeal without being too scarred. It was very commendable for that one reporter to risk his own life to save the man.

3

I think things are going to be ok!

by mamashel in

jw
friends

well we have had 2 of our kids have birthdys this month.

now today is my husbands birthday.

he is the one that was raised in the troof, and has had alot of problems moving on in his life since leaving the org.

Bona Dea

ahhhhh, how sweet!!!

Good for you guys!!! I wish you all the happiness in the world as you move on to greener pastures....

26

I was on the air today with Dr. Joy Browne

by Bona Dea in

jw
friends

i don't know if anyone here listens to dr. joy but i love her show and most of the time agree with her advice.

well, today i grew some balls and decided to call in and ask her what she thought i should do in my current situation (which is probably the closest i will come to seeking professional advice).

i never mentioned the name of the "religious group" in which my husband was involved, but i informed her about some of the things that they believe and how it was affecting my marriage and family.

Bona Dea

LOL...RR, okay, okay....since you put it that way, I'll think about it

26

I was on the air today with Dr. Joy Browne

by Bona Dea in

jw
friends

i don't know if anyone here listens to dr. joy but i love her show and most of the time agree with her advice.

well, today i grew some balls and decided to call in and ask her what she thought i should do in my current situation (which is probably the closest i will come to seeking professional advice).

i never mentioned the name of the "religious group" in which my husband was involved, but i informed her about some of the things that they believe and how it was affecting my marriage and family.

Bona Dea

Thanks Iv4fer.

Having a normal life is something so many take for granted until they can see it slipping through their fingers. We didn't get involved with the witnesses until about 4-5 years ago, so I remember all too well how wonderful normalcy (not to be confused with perfection) feels. I mean, just having the freedom to decide to let your son join the cub scouts is something I would have never dreamed would be taken from me, or letting him wear red, white, and blue to commemorate the deaths of 9-11, or let him go on a field trip to a pumpkin farm....these are things that normal people do on a daily basis and take the freedom to be able to do them for granted. These are the kind of things that lead to a holy war in my house...almost daily. Its ridiculous to have to fight for your right (and your childrens rights) to be allowed to just be normal.

I am sorry for what your daughter is having to go through. I hope she makes a ton of really good and dependable friends. It is good that you have gotten out and are now able to allow her the, if she so chooses, freedom to befriend whomever she chooses...and to have the opportunity of living a simple and normal life. I wish you the best....

26

I was on the air today with Dr. Joy Browne

by Bona Dea in

jw
friends

i don't know if anyone here listens to dr. joy but i love her show and most of the time agree with her advice.

well, today i grew some balls and decided to call in and ask her what she thought i should do in my current situation (which is probably the closest i will come to seeking professional advice).

i never mentioned the name of the "religious group" in which my husband was involved, but i informed her about some of the things that they believe and how it was affecting my marriage and family.

Bona Dea

Thanks RR. I knew some sarcastic response like that was inevitable. I was just waiting for the person who would make it...Thanks for contributing. Dr. Joy Browne is hardly comparable to Jerry Springer. A 3 minute anonymous discussion on the radio with a trained psychologist is quite a bit different than showing your face on a disreputable t.v. talk show to millions of viewers .

Bona

26

I was on the air today with Dr. Joy Browne

by Bona Dea in

jw
friends

i don't know if anyone here listens to dr. joy but i love her show and most of the time agree with her advice.

well, today i grew some balls and decided to call in and ask her what she thought i should do in my current situation (which is probably the closest i will come to seeking professional advice).

i never mentioned the name of the "religious group" in which my husband was involved, but i informed her about some of the things that they believe and how it was affecting my marriage and family.

Bona Dea

Paduan

Does he know that you think it is one big pile of crap?

Yes, he knows exactly what I think about the witnesses. I have shown him everything I have read (the hypocrisy, the corruption, what I believe to be doctrinal errors)...and unfortunately (and strangely), this has only fueled his belief that they are the only ones who have the truth. He has even said by my adamant opposition I have only convinced him even more so that what he is doing is right.

And is he already past the stage of reason?

Sadly, most definitely.

There is a bit right at the start of the bible that kids can understand - and it did make God upset - "who told you that you were naked?" They used to be naked but they weren't ashamed of it - then a snake convinced them to think differently.

Great logic. I have never really seen it put that way before. That would make perfect sense to a reasonable person.

26

I was on the air today with Dr. Joy Browne

by Bona Dea in

jw
friends

i don't know if anyone here listens to dr. joy but i love her show and most of the time agree with her advice.

well, today i grew some balls and decided to call in and ask her what she thought i should do in my current situation (which is probably the closest i will come to seeking professional advice).

i never mentioned the name of the "religious group" in which my husband was involved, but i informed her about some of the things that they believe and how it was affecting my marriage and family.

Bona Dea

Thank you Parousia for sharing that. People who've experienced things like you are EXACTLY why I want to get my kids as far away from this as possible (and I mean no offense to you by that). I went to school with JW kids. I saw how they would have to leave class when someone's mom brought cake and goodies on their child's birthday, how they would miss out on certain field trips and school activities because of the patriotic or holiday orientation (and most school events are usually one or the other), how they couldn't salute the flag (and the ridicule they received because of that), and how they always looked...so alone. I always felt so sorry for them (and, trust me, my life was no bed of roses). Who in their right mind would want that for their kids??? And I know by my son saying what he has (and he's said other things that really bother me) that he is vocalizing his fear and his feeling of inadequacy...and that, to me, is scary. I am sorry for what happened with you and your siblings. I hope your life is good now (and theirs is too) and that you can go on and learn from what you've gone through. The life you described is definitely not the kind of life I want for my babies.

Thanks again for sharing